The other day, I lost it on my kids. I love them dearly but they had me at the end of my rope. As much as I hate writing this, that night I hated my kids. They were fighting non stop. They wouldn’t listen. They wouldn’t pick up after themselves. They wouldn’t eat the dinner that I cooked that wasn’t frozen or take out. I finally had some energy to cook them an actual meal and they wouldn’t eat it. There were two things on each of their plates that they liked and they still wouldn’t eat it. I was done. I yelled at them. I called them ungrateful. I was not the mom they needed that night. I was not the mom I was proud of.
Just like us, kids have bad days. They have days where everything is just too much for them and they have no idea how to process it all. But instead of me helping them through it all, I yelled at them. I made them even more upset, more confused. I just made it worse for them. They went to bed mad at me that night. No hugs, no kisses, no I love yous from them. I’m not proud of that night. They deserved a better mom.
I went to work after they were in bed at my parents. I prayed for a better day the following day. I prayed for more patience, more understanding and less fighting. This time it worked. When I got them up for school, they were different kids. I was a different mom. We all just needed a night to think and pray. I got my hugs, kisses and I love yous before they went to school. When they came home, homework was done, messes were picked up, dinner was ate and they said thank you. I listened to them. I hugged them. I apologized to them. I told them I will always love them. It was a new day for all of us.
I’m not proud of that night. I never am when we have nights like this. I won’t lie and say we’ve never had a night like that before. There’s no point. We’ve had multiple nights like that. But we all prayed for a better day and we got that. Kids are human as well. They have bad days just like us. And that’s ok. We just need to learn to take a step back and realize that instead of punishing them for having bad days. I’m still learning this. I’m still trying to parent them when they have bad days. Just like I’m still trying to handle my bad days appropriately. The kids and I are growing up together. We are learning together. At the end of the day, we’re family and we have feelings.