Sometimes we get busy

My oldest(D) is staying with his dad for a few days while I have my youngest(J). D and J have been fighting non stop all week. So we decided it’d be best to give them a break. J is 8 but still needs a lot of attention. He loves to interact with me. Loves to read, do puzzles and play make believe. I love that he still wants to do these things with me. He’s my baby and I know the day is coming that he won’t want to do these things.

Today my bf had a rough day. He needed to talk to me. We were texting and he was telling me what was going on. I couldn’t respond for a few minutes because J hurt himself. So I had to check on him and calm him down. I was gone maybe 3 minutes, if that. By the time I got back to my phone to text him back, he had already responded “thanks for the talk” being sarcastic. I apologized and said I had to deal with J. He said it’s fine, he will be ok and deal with it. I said I’m here now. But he wouldn’t talk to me anymore about it. I pretty much told him he’s being childish. That I just had to step away for a few minutes. I get that he needed me, but we have a rule. Kids come first. So it’s frustrating that he’s acting this way. It’s frustrating that he’s now not talking to me at all.

We are supposed to be grown. We are supposed to be breaking old habits and communicating better with each other. This is not communicating. This is being childish. I have my kids pretty much full time. He doesn’t. He gets his kids every other weekend. My kids are kids. They still play and use their imagination and want to interact with me. His kids are mini adults even though they are the same age as mine. We’ve raised our kids very differently. So we do butt heads on how things should be done. So even after 3 years, he still gets upset with me when my kids need my attention more. We’ve had this argument so many times. It’s old. I’m over it.

My child was hurt. It’s not like I walked away from the conversation to watch TV or play a game on my phone. My child needed me. My bf needed me. I went back to our conversation as soon as I could. And it still wasn’t enough. I just don’t know what else I can do. I don’t know what more I can do. I think a lot that he wishes I didn’t have kids so that my attention can fully be on him. No distractions. He knew I had kids from day one. He knew that I had them full time and they came first. I just wish he would grow up and stop being so childish. I shouldn’t have to apologise for taking care of my kids. I shouldn’t have to feel bad about putting them first. I shouldn’t have to worry about how that makes him feel. He’s a dad. He puts his kids first all the time. That’s how it should be. I just don’t know what to do anymore. I just wish things were different with us. I wish I didn’t have to have these conversations and worries. I wish things were different.

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